The Perfect Bride

“My daughter is the perfect bride for your son.” Declared the prospective bride’s mother to her prospective Bridegrooms mother, “ she is very dedicated and loyal. You should see the way she follows all the T.V. serials that she watches. Such is her decication, devotion and loyalty that she will leave everything so that she doesn’t miss even a single episode. Only the other day, my mother-in-law had a heart attack and My Rachna, My beautiful darling daughter was the only one in the house. It so happened that my mother-in-law collapsed while her favourite serial, “Channo ki zindagi” was on. Such was her commitment to her serial that she didn’t budge till the serial was over. My mother-in-law tried so hard to test her loyalty by squirming around on the floor and holding her chest and screaming and shouting and gasping for air and doing all her silly theatrics, agar Rachna ne commitment de di, toh phir woh khud ki bhi nahi sunti. she took my Mother-in-Law to the hospital after her serial got over(but for some reason my mother-in-law was declared dead on arrival. The Doctors said it was because she forgot to breath for 5 minutes or so, and when she remembered it was too late.) but my mother-in-law was like that only, she couldn’t even wait for one small serial to get over before she stopped breathing.

“But forget that sad incident. Let me tell you that my rachna is very responsible. You will never find such shining responsibility in a girl, even if you search the entire universe. She will be the first to take responsibility if ever she makes food or breaks some furniture or does any damage to the house or your family members. Once I told her to give our pet dog his food. I don’t know what happened but after a few hours our dog died. And unlike other girls who would have hidden the truth from us, my beautiful daughter took full responsibility for his death. Apparently she had added a little rat poison in his food for taste. You only tell me how is she to know that rat poison kills dog’s as well?

“My daughter is also very Honest. If she thinks you make as much sense to her as a mosquito buzzing past her ear, she will tell you so at once, in a very honest and transparent manner. I never understood why her teacher’s used to consider her honesty to be bad thing. She is also very truthful. If, god forbid, but if she ever cheats on her husband she will never behave like those cheap girls and try and hide it. She will very truthfully come and tell you at once. Just like she told me that she has had 9 boyfriends the moment I told her about your proposal. Dont worry she also told me that she has only slept with 3 of them.

“Rachna is very classy. She is the only girl of our family to have studied till class 4. We are all so proud of her. And don’t think she is not intelligent just because she failed in standard 5. Rachna can count how much ever money you give her. She can also milk the cow, sew buttons and cut vegetables. She can also speak to animals. She knows the capital of India is in Delhi and that Bhagat Singh was a freedom fighter. Ask her, she will tell you faster than a bolt of lightning. Also she knows all the latest Bollywood Gossip. She is so clever in telling you the Shahrukh Khan’s Biodata!

“Oh and lastly, we have instilled very strong middle-class values in our beautiful daughter rachna. We have taught her the value of Money. She will never be a problem to you because she never ever wastes money. She only spends money when she really needs to spend it. She cant help it if she needs new jewellery and new clothes every week. You only tell me doesn’t a girl need little things like that once in a week?

“Now am sure you also think that our daughter is by far the most perfect bride for your son!”

by Editor Man