Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Indian and Chinese Films

Hindi movies (and Chinese movies) defy the laws of physics (and common sense) in a way only they can. They are also ridiculous to an unparalleled extent. People and things do stuff which er... how do you put it... is ridiculous. It’s not as if they intend to make a futuristic-2157AD kind of movie or a superhero flick, they just end up with a movie where cars fail to follow parabolas when they fall, people fall forward when shot from the front and even 15 bullets aren’t enough to kill the hero.

Hindi movie fight scene – One hero. One villain. 30 subordinates of the villain. Everyone except the hero has a gun. They all shoot at him as he runs (slow motion) towards the villain (who has hero’s girlfriend hostage). They all miss. Then hero beats up villain while some friend of his tackles ALL of the villains subs. Friend dies. Villain dies. Girlfriend and hero survive. ALWAYS. Oh and I almost forgot, before the villain dies, the hero gives him a 15 minute lecture on how he will finally have revenge for the murder of most of his family, friends and neighbourhood.

Chinese movie special – 25 people surround the hero to have a go at him and then wait in line as he tackles them one at a time. They will NEVER attack together. EVER. And as in Hindi movies, the hero will never lose.

As modernisation sets in, only the weapons change. The stupidity remains the same.


by Mr. Fly

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