Life's Like That: Picking the right curtains

It was that time again, when I realize that my curtains need changing. It usually happens once in ten years when I see that the curtains I had put up a decade ago are now reduced to shreds of cloth hanging on my windows.

Anyway the time had come to change my curtains and I dreaded it deeply. I consider the picking of curtains a very important event in my life, behind brushing, staring at cows and eating chocolate chip cookies. I give it so much importance because I believe that curtains are like girlfriends, once you pick them you’re stuck with them.

Anyway the point is, I desperately needed the new curtains because the shreds that I had hanging from the window sill were very inadequate in keeping the kid from the opposite building out. let me explain. You see I live on the tenth floor of my building. On the tenth floor of the building opposite mine lives a 15 year old pimply teenager whom we shall call monty. Now monty has a queer habit of using a telescope, in the daytime, and directing it at my house, while am changing. Its really embarrassing to have a 15 year old BOY, peeking at you with a telescope and my ragged curtains don’t seem to deter this voyeur. Now I know what it feels like to take part in Bigg Boss.

My favourite colour is red. My curtains are old and yellow. You may ask how? You may think that I have the intelligence of a mongoose, for knowing my favourite colour and then choosing something totally different. And I would have agreed with you had I picked yellow curtains. But the fact was that I chosen red curtains and right after the first wash they had lost all their colour just like a person loses all colour when faced by a hungry lion. In three washes it went from red to orange to creamy red to yellow. And then it got old and looks like see through dress hung up to dry.

That's the other problem with it, its too flimsy and transparent. When I buy my curtain am going to make sure its thicker than the skin of an adult water buffalo because my current curtains let in far too much. Neither does it keep out the sunlight nor does it keep out that pesky kids prying telescope.

I wouldn’t have made such a fuss over my curtains if it weren’t for the main problem that I face every time I go looking for curtains. Before I go into my problem a few quick questions...

Q1. What would you do if you had vanilla blue pants?

Q2. What colour of shirt matches with vanilla blue pants?

Q3. Wouldn’t Govinda look good wearing vanilla blue pants?

Q4. Is there really a colour such as vanilla blue?

Q5. Why are there so many irrelevant questions on Vanilla Blue?

The reason I asked you so many questions on the colour vanilla blue is that my walls are vanilla blue in colour and am not qualified enough to know whatever the heck colour of curtains matches with Vanilla blue. All I know is that red, orange, creamy red and yellow curtains do NOT go with Vanilla Blue walls. If you know what goes with it, do let me know. Till then maybe I could ask the kid with the telescope, when he comes over for dinner later tonight.

By Editor Man