Understanding Art

I hate the shit that is being passed off as Art nowadays. It just sucks! You just cant understand it, because guess what? IT MAKES NO SENSE.

I simply hate those pretentious idiots who claim to be making High-Class Art when all they are actually doing is stringing together one lump of their ridiculous imagination with another. The funny part is that they actually feel pride over work that looks like its been done by a drunk, handicapped, mentally challenged baby chimpanzee. It is not Art, it is Bullshit!

That's why I have devised my method of identifying stuff that is pretentious and ‘Arty’ and then staying the heck away from it so that I don’t have to suffer experiencing another peice of illegible, incomprehensible rubbish, made by some talentless person who thinks its art. I am going to share with you the few tricks that I have learnt, in spotting a Arty peice of rubbish so you too can escape with mind and balls intact:

1. Classy Art always looks like a mangled carcass of some ugly dead animal.

=

2. Classy Art will be tougher to understand than Chinese algebra.

3. Classy Art will always leave you frustrated and wanting to break public property and some furniture.

4. Classy Art will smell. Because it’s full of shit.

Another worrying trend which I feel is dumbing down culture till we will actually find Ram Gopal Verma films entertaining is the amount of rubbish lyrics that musicians are writing to match their equally rubbish music. Clearly the songwriting process for most of these musicians must be something along these lines.

1. Get piss drunk.

2. Get stoned out of your tiny inconsequential minds.

3. Get hold of pen and paper.

4. Scribble furiously.

5. Thats it.

The outcome of these incredibly sloshed song writing sessions are songs that make as much sense as Navjyot Singh Sidhu speaking. I think the worrying trend took off when The Beatles took to drugs. Just Imagine what you get when you put the biggest band the world has ever seen and narcotics together.

The Beatles + Drugs= I am the Walrus + every band henceforward getting inspired to come up with exactly such shit.

Here is a glimpse of the amount of rubbish that is filled in the song, ‘I am the Walrus’

I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
See how they fly
I'm crying

.....

I am the eggman, oh, they are the eggman
Oh, I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob

Goo Goo G’jooob, indeed! Makes a heck of a lot of sense to me! The least these dimwit musicians can do is atleast READ the rubbish they’ve written before mindlessly recording it.

Oh and a lot of these pseudo-intellectual artists actually defend their trash by saying that it has a very profound meaning known only to them. Do they forget that their ‘Art’ is for MASS consumption? Does it just slip their mind that the 100 million people out there who will be viewing or listening to their tripe have no idea what the shit is this profound meaning because the dumb freaking Artist just didn’t bother to do his work in a more UNDERSTANDABLE MANNER!

And yeah all you pretentious snobbish asses who actually like all this arty crap, Give me a break! I know for a fact that you posing losers don’t understand a rats ass about the so called Art that you keep raving about. You must going to sleep at night weeping into your pillows, complaining about how hard life is because you have to keep faking that you actually LIKE and UNDERSTAND bullshit, when you actually hate it! You losers should realize that just by making something difficult to understand and interpret you are not necessarily making it any more art-worthy than a ball of elephant dung.

I am not targeting merit and talent in the Art fraternity. That is of course respected, loved and the reason Art moves forward. My wrath is more directed towards those imbeciles who believe Art is created not through thought, merit, Talent and Years of Toil and Hardwork, but through the use of a thesaurus, by using Imagery when description would be enough or by dipping a brush in 3 different colours and then splashing it on the canvas while doing the salsa. If that was the Case then every 3 year old is an artist.

Peace.

The Matador