Religion of the 21st Century

Religion of the 21st Century

1) Thou shalt not steal (The Government hates competition!)

2) Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy (but if you work weekends, you will get paid overtime.)

3) Thou shalt not commit adultery (unless your name is Tiger Woods or Bill clinton)

4) Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain (unless your in one of the planes that Osama has ordered to crash. Then you might as well say it. Your gonna die in a fiery hell as it is.)

5) Love thy neighbour (especially if she is HOT!)

6) An apple a day keeps the doctor away. (God had it wrong all along. Adam and Eve were just trying to stay healthy!)

7) Man is born good and kind. (then just send him to jihadi school on the Pakistani border. That will straighten him out)

8) Jesus should have been alive now. So that he could turn all the water into wine and all the trees into weed. the world would be a better place!

9) Do others as you would want others to do you.

10) If you commit no sins, you will get into heaven. (Mostly all religions say this. But the muslims version of this is so much cooler. Because according to them, if you get into heaven, you will have 72 virgins ready to fulfill all your sexual fanatsies)

By Miss Calculated