Twitter is for Celebrities

If you thought twitter was for the layman. If you thought twitter was the thing to spread information faster than domino’s can deliver pizzas to ordinary people across the world. If you thought people would appreciate what happened in your boring days and lonesome nights, also read as most of your life, then you were as wrong as the people who thought Housefull was an intelligent comedy with a story.

Twitter is definitely not for us ordinary mortals. It is only for celebrities and I’ll tell you why. Celebrities are famous and have a life unlike you and me. As a consequence people want to know what happens every minute in their life’s in 140 charachters or less. They do not care the same way about you because you are not famous and look like a dingy old bat. Period.

If Shahrukh Khan tweets “Good Morning all, traffic & my nose both blocked. ate a full green chilly & didnt feel a thing. means on the coldometer scale...my cold is 11 on 10.” Then there are atleast 3 million of his followers to feel happy about the good morning, shocked about the col, disgusted by his eating habits and the things he eats and confused at the lack of basic logic displayed in the statement 11 on 10. Within minutes he will receive a million more tweets back wishing him to get well and recommending he chew peppercorns, stand on his head and gargle shark infested water to rid himself of his ailment.

However if you tweet the exact same thing word for word(by copy pasting it, for those who don’t know how to do it) then you shall realise exactly how insignificant you are in the twitter universe. Tweet and sit back relax to the sound of silence disturbed by that rat thats gnawing away at your chair. You will get approximately zero replies in forever minutes.

I have seen endless number of people who have followed a surplus of 7000 people only to get 5 to follow them back. This is mostly because they have names like cooldaddy007 and sugarpuffsweetu999, who tweet things like “I is gone to sleep now befour I brushing.” Nevertheless the moral of the story being there is nobody to see and as consequence give a pig’s ass about whatever peice of wisdom or rot you tweet.

When the Modi-Tharoor Controversy broke, people were burning with jealously all over twitter. They were probably thinking, “here we are, tweeting our hearts out. Tweeting stuff that is so controversial that it could have gotten us executed in places like china, but no one even gives us a second look and here comes this guy Modi who looks like someone who parks cars for a living, who just tweets one small stupid name of some obscure woman and the world media jumps on it just because he happens to own the IPL! ITS NOT FAIR!”

Like I said, Twitter is for celebrities. Especially loud mouth celebrities like Modi and Tharoor. I bet they became even more popular on twitter after the controversy.

Facebook is for normal people. For one thing, normal people require more than 140 charachters to express themselves, they need pictures and status’s and they need people to like and comment on their status’ just to know that they are not entirely friendless and alone. And Even if they have no real friends atleast on facebook they can get the odd, ‘I want to be your frand’ request! Hence Proved.

By Editor Man