Free isn't good enoough

Anything free is not worth buying.

Free things are usually not worth picking up. I can already see the many ardent shoppers looking disgusted at the previous statement and shaking their heads at it like your boss when you ask him for a leave. But probably after they’ve heard my argument against free goods they might just realize their flawed reasoning and thank me for making them see the light. I accept apologies.

The thing with free goods is, that there will always be an effort required to obtain which will be greater than the value of the product. For example when a supermarket announces that it is giving toilet paper absolutely 100 % free! People immediately queue up until the line becomes bigger than the line of ants outside an open fridge. There will always be, on average, a 100 people lined up to get anything which is free, even if its toilet paper and they don’t know how to use it. If you are willing to stand for eternity in a line full of smelly, unshaven and probably unwashed people all for a pile of toilet paper just because its free, then my advice to you is go ahead, but then get an IQ test done as well.

Companies aren’t stupid. If the products were any good they would charge you for it. All free goods by default have a defect. That's just the way things are. If the jeans are free its probably because the zip is broken, or that the colour fades faster than your memory or that its got a tear near the crotch. Needless to say free things last as long as a stomach problem right after you’ve had an Eno.(Eno, Kaam shuru sirf 6 second mein)

Even if it doesn’t have a defect, any article that is free will never be in your size and shape. Those free pair of shoes will either be for feet in the extra extra extra extra extra small category or will be available in a size that will only be of interest to bigfoot. They will also be shaped in a manner that will make you wonder whether they were intended for humans, kangaroos, horses or ducks. Or all at once.

If you do manage to hunt out those pair of free shoes that are of your shape and size, then get ready to be disappointed because they will not be in your design and colour. The shoes with large plastic flowers attached to them are always free, so are the ones with leopard prints. The choice of colours in free goods is always restricted to your least favourite colour and a colour that you do not like. Take your pick.

If any product that you happen to pick up, is without defect, and is of your style, size, shape, design and colour then be assured that it probably isn’t free anyway. Hence just buy what you want rather than take what you don’t.

by Editor Man