Interview with Hitler

This is a very rare interview that took place somewhere in the year 1945. Our guest is a very distinguished man, the man who is responsible for a lot of death, destruction, general anarchy and bad fashion. Apart for being known for his poor taste in fashion, our guest is also known as the leader of the german forces that were hell bent on ruling the world. Today we conduct a very special interview with Mr. Adolf Hitler.

Q1. Good morning Rudolf, how are feeling?

Ans. my name is not Rudolf. It is Adolf. Adolf Hitler.

Q2. Am so sorry, So Adolf how does feel like, now you face a crushing defeat in world war 2 and certain death after they catch you?

Ans. Umm... I guess I feel bad.

Q3. How bad?

Ans. very bad. Move on to the next question.

Q4. Alright. How do you explain your moustache?

Ans. it is my style. The German style.

Q5. Is it true that it is actually because you ran out of shaving foam?

Ans. No! (raises his voice, slightly)

Q6. Is Charlie Chaplin your brother?

Ans. No.

Q7. Cousin?

Ans. NO.

Q8. Step-brother?

Ans. NO! He is in no way related to me. No more personal questions. From now stick to professional questions or I will have you shot.

Q9. Yes sir. Tell us more about your tanks....

Ans. Yes(calming down). We have engineered a new set of tanks, which are very powerful and extremely potent. We call them Panzers.

Q10. Have you ever ridden a Pansy?

Ans. its not a Pansy, its a Panzer! (getting agitated). No I haven’t ridden or driven a Panzer.

Q11. Is it because you don’t have a driver’s license?

Ans. NO!!! Gah, next question.(eyes slightly popping)

Q12. Which place do you intend to bomb next?

Ans. That is top secret. I am afraid I cannot disclose that in this interview.

Q13. Oh, Come on Rudolf, tell us which place you are going to bomb next. It will stay between the two of us don’t worry. (Slaps Hitler on the back, in a chummy manner).

Ans. WILL YOU STOP IT! (Screaming so that nerves on neck are visible) AND FOR THE LAST TIME MY NAME IS ADOLF! NOT RUDOLF! RUDOLF IS BLOODY REINDEER!

Q14. Oh, I am so very sorry, slip of tongue you see. Rumor has it that you are going to bomb Germany next. Is it true?

Ans. GERMANY IS MY OWN COUNTRY, YOU FOOL!( Shaking with anger)

Q15. Oh, am so sorry, I didn’t know you were German. So are you going to bomb Zimbabwe next?

Ans. NO! (getting on his feet and screaming very loudly)

Q16. West indies?

Ans. NAI NAI NAI(Hopping up and down) GET OUT YOU IDIOTIC RASCAL!

Q17. Are you gay?

Ans. interview ended abruptly as a bomb was hurled in interviewers direction.

Conducted by Editor Man