Hot-O-Biography of a Nail Cutter.

Hullo my name is Apsara. Full name, Apsara Nail Cutters and Accessories. Off late I have been very depressed. I often feel like rusting and killing myself. I am writing this article for The Hot Spark in the hope that after I have taken out all my frustration I might feel a little bit better. So here goes...

Firstly, me and my 1000 brothers and sisters have never had the love of our parents. My Mother was a machine that used to mould hot molten iron into small little nail cutters like me and my father was a machine that used to package us into small little boxes. My parents live in a small factory in patna and me and my brothers and sisters were taken away from them right after we were born. I have grown up without the loving care of a mother and the hard discipline of a father and maybe that is why you think I am so cold, metallic and snappy. You see its not all my fault!

On top of that I hate my job. It just stinks! Imagine just waiting around for days at a stretch, waiting to be called into action and when the time finally comes, what do I have to do, but cut freaking nails! And that too would have been bearable if you humans learned to keep your feet clean. I just hate the days I have to cut your toe nails because your DIRTY FEET SMELL SO GODDAMN MUCH!

In fact they smell so much that I would rather die than go near your rotten stinking feet. And believe me I have tried killing myself but being a non-living object has its downsides. One of them being that its difficult to die! I have tried rusting myself to death but its not entirely in my hands you see because I need to be put in water for that to happen and those inconsiderate humans just don’t listen to my pleas!

Just like they don’t listen to me when I tell them not to press my head so hard when they are using me! I mean it freaking hurts! Wouldn’t it hurt you, if a gigantic thumb was pressing your head in really hard while you had your mouth stuffed with toe nails? It would right. The same way it hurts me too. And I keep yelling and shouting and sobbing and crying but they just don’t listen. They just keep pressing harder and harder till I bite right through their overgrown nails.

Am going to stop here because am getting a headache just thinking of it. So the next time you use a nail cutter just remember to press the head lightly and dip it in water so that it can happily rust in death rather than smell your smelly feet again!

Reproduced accurately and faithfully by Editor Man