LOVE IN THE TIME OF MALARIA

Namaskar Pahuna!!!!

I have come back just for you... to answer your lauw ke baare mein kwesions...

accha... here are some of the problems that you all have got into... and my solutions for them... i swear i should be writing for Times or something... but that bitch Bacchi... she stole my job by sleeping with the editor (hermaphrodite... she only is the editor!!!!) ... waise... anyways... i would never leave THE HOT SPARK for anything...

so anyways... here are the picks of today:

1) L.M.!!! I live in USA (Ulhasnagar) and i am the hotest guy there. Everyone wants to feel and grab me and i always satisfy them... but i want to know if this will be harmful for my health?

ANS: hey mister usa... i have said this before too.... lauw choone se nahi phailti... so dont worry... but just in case you are still worried about contracting swine flu or bird flu or herpes, then just hang a sign down there saying "Pakadna mana hai! Trespassers will be prostituted!".... then you will only get the best ones to grab you....

2) Maushi!!!! Help me!!! I have fallen for my hot neighbour who thinks she is a dog... you know... the bitchy types (pun intended)... but she gives my dog more bhow, then she gives me!!! what do i do???

ANS: he mr. I-fell-for-a-bitch.... why dont you try scratching her behind the ear... or taking her out for some nice doggy biscuits... am sure she will also love going for long walks with you, especially if you put her on a leash and let her piss on the wheels of stationary cars! that will be nice for her na?... then she might just like you... if not... then be contented with her being your Bhabhi... and be happy for your dog, Tommy or Moti or Jackie or Bruno... (whatever his name is)....

3)Maushi... its me again... i had asked a question last week, but i was tooo confused.... so let me clarify again.... ok... there is this girl whom i like... and she likes this one guy... who is going out with this one girl... who is like a sister to me... at least i consider her as a sister... god knows if she feels the same way about me... and i heard from someone that she has feelings for me... but he likes her and she likes him and i like her and.... i cant use names or it would get tooo obvious... help me na... i really like this girl, and she likes this guy and he likes a girl who likes me and i dont know what to do about her... i mean.... we used to play in senior kg together and so we grew up together and her mom also knows me very well and so i always come over for dinner.... her mom makes to most awesome butter ckicken... but i became a vegetarian last year... so now she makes baingan for me... but i prefer eating bhendi.... and cherries!!!

ok... sorry... i forgot the question again.... brb!

WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!! god... you talk more than a girl does.... just ask your question straight straight and let me answer it.... as for the rest of you... exams are coming up na??? so go and study... but still... if you have any lauw ke baare mein kwesions... then dont hesitate to give me a buzz....

till my next post,

Lauw thy neighbour and his wife!!!

by, Lauwandkar Maushi