How To Be The Next SHAHRUKH KHAN?

Today i shall tell you about how "YOU!" yes, you, can be the Next SHAHRUKH KHAN! all you have to do, is read the following carefully and follow them exactly.

firstly,

PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS:

1. Floppy abundance of uncombable hair, which must resemble a shaggy rug, made out of the fur of some poor dead animal.

2. A nose the size of a volleyball.

3. Short height.

4. Dimples as deep as pot holes on mumbai roads, or an elephants ass, whichever is deeper.

THE MOVES AND MOVIES:

Having fulfilled the physical criteria, you are now in the next stage of initiation, to become the next shahrukh Khan.

1. Perform in Circus(T.V. Serial, mind you)

2. Become an evil sinister villain who makes fun of Aamir Khan's wife, Kiran, by saying her name like a goat

3.Continue to say your dialogues like a retarded goat.

4. Act in films like "Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman"

5. Make the most succesful film in Bollywood history, whose name when translated means, "The Heartpeople will take away the Bride". The film will become the longest running film of all time and its songs immortal, so that everytime some roadside romeo whistles, "tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam", your face pops into mind.

6. Make another blockbuster hit, whose name in english means, "Heart is Mad"

7. Finally team up with a gay director and make, "Something, Something is happening" and at 32 you play a 16 year old and pretend as if you are archie andrews.

8. Keep your name Rahul in every movie henceforward.

9. You refuse to come out of the closet and admit that the gay director is your lover though the world knows he designs your clothes and takes your "measurements".

10. Fight with everyone, ranging from Salman to Aamir and even the great BIG B!

11. Get on to TV to show the BiG B whose the Baadshah!

12. Do a 100 million commercials.

13. Own a cricket team that loses every year and say rubbish like, "we are here to enjoy, not win."

14. suddenly after so many years of being called Rahul, you realise, "My Name Is Khan"!

-By Editor Man