Old Age is a Dangerous Place!

Old age is a dangerous place. Once you are past the fine, ripe old age of 65 even the most harmless things around you become death traps. For example imagine you are 70, and have osteoporosis, your bones are as solid as melting candlesticks, and you have as much balancing capacity as drunk one-legged horse, and you have to climb down a flight of stairs at a speed of less than 1 km per day. The chancesof your losing your footing and tumbling down the stairs is also increased due to the cataract in both your eyes. Which is why people will bet more money on you slipping and rolling down the steps like a drum, than you reaching the bottom of the stairs, walking and alive.

And your chances of unintentionally killing yourself are greatly increased by your memory which is so poor that it makes people living on 2 rupees a day, look rich. With a memory like yours, it is so easy to accidently kill yourself. You put something in the oven and then forget about it because you are too engrossed in catching your favourite Baba on Aastha channel. The oven eventually explodes and as everybody knows, an exploding oven is it not good for ones health and overall life.

And you just might go past your expiry date while having fun. For example, imagine you are a 75 year old man, who suddenly finds a hot, foxy 25 year old wanting to sleep with you(clearly for the money). At an early time, you would have dived into bed, with the speed of Michel Phelps at the Beijing Olympics. But at 75 you have to think twice about your bedtime activities, because you might be on top of her and suddenly your over-excited heart might just get attacked. And then it will be difficult for that poor thing to heave a dead old horse like you off her.

And of course, old age can be full of people wanting to kill you. These assasins will usually be the ones whom you love most and whom you least expect to put the poison of an exotic south American frog in your early morning cup of coffee. Usually these assasins turn out to be your spouse or your sons, who know what's in your will and are just tired of waiting for you to die on your own.

Of course, old age is a dangerous place because you just might die because of old age. its called a natural death and it happens mainly because your organs are tired of working 24X7 for so many frigging years that they simply give up and stop working. And although your brain did that a long time ago and it didn’t affect you, but when your heart also calls it quits or when your liver fails, it kind of gets hard to live and easy to die. Thats why old age is a dangerous place.

-By Editor Man