LOVE IN THE TIME OF MALARIA

Namaskar Pahunyano!!!!

I told na, that I will come back??
Accha, since my last post, I have been getting some lauw ke baare mein questions.... people come to me in private and ask me... from now on, if you have a question, post it up as a comment... then i will answer... haan...

Ok... questions and answers are given below:

1) My Girlfriend and I always end up wearing matching clothes which gets irritating after a while. She refuses to wear girly colours like pink and baby blue and insists that she will wear only black other neutral colours. So I dont know what to do.
ANS: Aree baba... answer is so simple re. If you force your girlfreind to wear different colours, she will only get angry (and you really dont want that). And if you continue to wear matching clothes, your friends are going to eat you alive. so the best thing to do is to please both parties. Stop wearing clothes altogether. That way your girlfriend is happy (*wink wink* ;-)) and your friends wont bug you.


2) For many days now, I have felt the need to do it with a horse. But I dont know if it is safe so I am worried. What should I do?
ANS: Well... let me tell you something... you are probably the only human who wants to do it with a horse, so I cant really tell you about other cases of this fetish. But I can tell you this... have safe sex and use a condom... though I dont think you could contract any STDs from horses... It is better to be safe than sorry... and besides that... I think that if you have sex with a horse, you are in more danger of being kicked than getting sick. That is becuase horses have a tendency (though not as frequent as mules or donkeys) to kick if they are not fully satisfied, so if you are not upto your game, beware... whatever it is... RIDE 'EM COWBOY!!!! Yeehah!!!!

(and then tell me if you are experiencing any pain when you pee or you have puss filled boils in sensitive areas)

3) My boyfriend and I were fooling around the other day, and we almost had sexual intercourse. That was about a week ago. But now my period is late by a day. I think I am pregnant. What should I do?
ANS: Ok.... where were you when they had sex education in school??? I mean, you ALMOST had sex and you think youre pregnant. Wow. Keep it up... If I count the number of times that I almost had sex, I would probably have had a few hundered kids by now. YOu know why?? Because my husband is too old to hold his erection for more than a few seconds. So whenever he is in the mood, he ALMOST has sex with me and then falls asleep. I havent felt statisfied in years. Just because Im a women, doesnt mean I should not get any pleasure too right? Sometimes I think I should go out and buy some viagra for him, but then I get out of that mood when I think about his old, grey, wrinkled, shrivelled........ face.
Ok getting back to the point, your probably not pregnant, but if your still not sure, then wait for nine months and see if a baby pops out.

Ok... thats it with the questions for now... send in your queries too... and I will answer them in my next blog post....
For my next post, I will be writing about "What girls say... and what they really mean"

Till then, Love thy neighbour and his wife!!!

By, Lauwandkar Maushi