Fare thee well in a Taxi.

Come October 11^th and the minimum fare of taxis in Mumbai are going to increase again; this time by 2 rupees. A commuter will now have to pay Rs. 19 as a minimum fare instead of the previous Rs. 17. We all know that this translates to a minimum fare of Rs. 20 because the Taxi drivers will inevitably never have change.

What makes this an even more ludicrous situation is that this has been the third fare hike in a year! Third! How uncertain were they about their own demands that they had to make them thrice? And how are we to know that it’s not going to stop at this? Who’s to say that the Mumbai Metropolitan Region Transport Authority (MMRTA) won’t ask for another hike next week because the price of pani puri went up and it had a direct effect on the diet of Taxi drivers and hence a direct impact on the fare?

It seems that all the taxi driver’s union had to do to get the increased fare is threaten to go on strike. I’m surprised that this strategy hasn’t caught on among the over-worked corporate soldiers. How come the smart people who work in offices aren’t loosening their ties, bringing out their placards and refusing to come to work unless they get a 25% increase their salaries? Maybe they just might now that half their existing salaries are going to go in simply getting to office.  

The Chief Minister, in a move to calm the frothing angry masses, said that though the fares will increase the service too will get better. It had better get better. For a minimum of Rs. 19, I’d at least expect seats that didn’t smell of every single person that had sat on it for the last 15 years. Also I expect less damage to my tailbone because with the increased earnings, the Taxi drivers can’t cite money as a constraint for not getting their suspension fixed. But most of all, I hope the increased fare makes them slow down on their refusals. More disheartening than having to pay Rs. 19 as a minimum fare is having to pay Rs. 19 as a minimum fare AND still hearing, “klik, klik, nahi jaaeyga” every time you want to go to Dadar.

This is going to be a terrible blow for the commuting Mumbaikar. The trains and buses are already crowded to such a degree that by the time you get off you’ve been standing so close to the person squashed next to you that you may as well get into a relationship.  Add to that another few thousand people who won’t be travelling by taxis anymore and it’ll be like stuffing too many woollens into a small suitcase. Eventually the suitcase pops open and there’s a mess all around.

The only people who are happy about the situation – apart from the Cabbies, of course – are old people. They’re rubbing their wrinkled palms with glee thinking of how they’ll mock their grandchildren and the terrible modern age by constantly bringing up the golden, non-inflationed, taxi fares of their time. I can already see pensioners rehearsing their lines which will start with, “humaare zamane main 2 rupees 50 paise main...” and end on a note of contempt for how Bollywood music just doesn’t sound as good and lyrics don’t make much sense either.

Well I would have written some more but I won’t unless I’m paid a minimum of 2 rupees more per word.