When you Break Up why do you Break Down?

A friend of mine just went through a break-up and it got me thinking: would a blue tie suit me more than a yellow one. Ok, no seriously it got me thinking: When you Break Up why do you Break Down? It was a deep philosophical question to which I had no answer.

After spending a lot of time counselling my friend I decided that I have enough expertise on the matter, to write an article on how to deal with a break up:

So you’ve just had a break up. The world seems all dreary. You’re wondering if God suddenly changed the settings from colour to black and white. The chirping of the birds has stopped but thats because they don’t usually chirp at one in the morning.

How is it always the wrong couple that ends up parting ways? Its always the couples who are best suited for each other or the ones that really seem made for one other who end up not getting their act right, whereas that irritating girl who another friend of mine met at a nightclub, just for fun, doesn’t look like she’ll ever go.

That, however, is beside the point. What is of importance is the fact that now you’re single. So you do what every guy does when he first becomes single: grow a beard. And then after a while you start to come to terms with the fact that you might not see her again. For some this phase comes early for others it happens when they’re given 10 years imprisonment for undue harassment.

The worst part of a break up is wondering what to do with all that new found time. While you were going out, time was as abundant as food in Ethopia. You used to spend hours on the phone, meeting and fighting over issues that make Roadies seem intellectual. And now suddenly you don’t know what to do with the 17 extra hours you’ve gotten. This is the time that you should use to better yourself. To do things you’ve never done before like working out, learning to play an instrument and cleaning your underarms.

The trick is to keep yourself busy at all times because you’ll invariably get thoughts of her in your head and you’ll feel the pangs of sadness. In a lot of ways it will be just like a cricket telecast. You’ll have a short enjoyable over of cricket before those woeful ads come up again. Start doing tasks that will require your fullest concentration so that she can’t wriggle into your mind at all. For example: bull-fighting, sky-diving and snake-wrangling are all highly recommended activities.

Of course no break-up is complete without the break-up playlist. It doesn’t matter what kind of music you usually listen to, when you’ve had a break-up you will invariably be reduced to Avril Lavigne, Bryan Adams and Sonu Nigam. It’s a miracle how music becomes so necessary to a broken heart. All of a sudden ‘Every night in my dreams’ explains the entire crux of your existence and you wonder why Enrique Iglesias hasn’t got the Nobel Prize in Literature for the lyrics of 'Do you know?(The Ping Pong Song)'.

Break ups are always unpleasant but the thing to remember is that it will pass. Always look on the bright side. They say that every person has 7 people who look identical to them in the world. All you have to do is find the other 7 people who look like your ex!