Travel is a wonderful thing. It widens your horizons, enriches you and gives you cool new photos which you can show off by putting them on Facebook. People travel in different ways according to which they can be neatly slotted into any of these 6 broad, grossly under-researched categories. Try and identify which kind of traveller you are!
1. The Budget Traveller: You know you’re a budget traveller when your official source of income is called, “pocket money”. Budget travellers will always try to spend less on their entire trip than whatever is the normal rickshaw fare from Devdaya Nagar to Naupada. Their preferred mode of transport is shoes.
2. The Business Traveller: These people travel not to see different cultures but to make sure that those different cultures are buying their product. The whole world looks the same to them: like the inside of a 5 star hotel room. By the end of their stay the only thing they will know about the place are the taxi fares. The business traveller is always willing to try the local cuisine because clearly it can’t be worse than airline food.
3. The Adventure traveller: These are the travellers that go to off-beat, all-action destinations like Bhandup. Ok, no, I was just kidding. You’ll usually find this kind of traveller near mountain tops, in jungles or in a raft, pedalling perilously close to waterfalls. They constantly seek adrenaline fuelled travels and get thoroughly bored in places where they can’t put their lives at risk.
4. The Spiritual Traveller: There are many places around the world that are said to be sacred and of mythological importance and usually these places are pretty difficult to reach. Nevertheless, these are the haunts of the spiritual travellers. They travel with little else apart from a few clothes and a lot of faith (Shoes are optional). They will go to any lengths braving nature, discomfort and even those irritating souvenir salesmen to pay their dues to their god.
5. Itinerary travellers: These will usually consist of families. It seems that the best way to take the lovely family on vacation is to dump said family on to a bus and then pray that tour doesn’t take very long. The itinerary travellers basically like to see whatever comes up first on a Google search of, “places to see in (insert location here)”. They skim the surface of the places they go to because that’s all the time they get before their youngest child starts bawling and saying, “NUMBER TWO! NUMBER TWO KARNA HAI!”
6. The Tortoise Travellers: Who is a tortoise traveller you ask? Tortoise travellers are those who insist on carrying their home with them; that is having a home-like experience no matter where they go. They are the ones who will pay huge sums of money to go to a new place only to eat at restaurants that serve the food they make back home. They will constantly crib about the difference in temperature, cuisine and people always insisting that where they live is better in every possible way. These are the people who should never be issued a passport.
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