Kahaan Kab Kaise?

Our story starts in the small village, where nothing ever happens, called “Fuckirapur”. The most exciting thing that ever happened in the village was when Chamiya the bar dancer gave birth to a flying squirrel. No one knew who the father was, though it was rumoured be a male flying squirrel. More on that later.

In this village lived an ultra-rich, cruel zamindar family, who owned most of the village and who were really good-looking. They were the Chustia family. But our story is not about them. Its not even about the old couple, who lived in the small hut, at the edge of the village.

We are concerned with the Taklampanchi Family, who were so poor that their family vehicle were shoes. They were poor, criminal untouchables, so they were pretty much socially fucked up.

In their house today a child is being born. Relatives and supporters gather around the large pregnant form of Gunga Devi.

“Push! Push! Push! Go Sachin! Oops.. sorry... Gunga Devi!” they screamed and encouraged.

Bhau Taklampanchi said, just before the birth of the child,

“HIS NAME WILL BE CHAMPAK!” and so he showed what a male chauvinistic son of a bitchpig he was.

And then with a final push the kid came out. Bhau Taklampanchi caught the kid before it flew off the table.

“Where’s his penis?” he thundered.

“uhhh.. Bhau... Its a girl!” said someone and quickly ran away.

“is it?” said Bhau, “In that case her name will be CHAMPI!”

To Be Continued...

(To see how life plays cruel Practical Jokes on champi tune in next time...)