The Hot Strip™. . . . BY TANZANIA THS™

Just something to say...

Hey!

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The Hot Spark Team

5 teeps four weening realeety show.

Good day, hi, hello, myself gym instructor Ajatashatru Chandrashekhar Pandey. They ees also calling me ACP, or sometimes even Ajit Pandu. My name ees meaning, “one without the enemies”, and eet ees much true because with

- Biceps 56 cm
- Nape 54 cm
- Waist 92 cm
- Thigh 80 cm
- Weight 132 kg
- Height 186 cm
- Chest 148 cm
- Forearm 45 cm

eet ees little bit difficult to feel about me in wrong way.

I ees not study very high, because I was busy practicing for Mr. Jabalpur contest during 10^th exams. So please pardon the poverty English.

Today I ees give you 5 teeps four weening realeety show

So now I give you teeps:

1. Bee Fake:

I ees not understanding who ees giving the name Realeety show, when all the show ees about ees being fake. Eef you ees want to ween realeety show then you must bee really fake. Buy fake I ees meening you must bee that person whom you ees not. for example eef you are not rakesh then you must beecome rakesh. You must allso tell the lies, like, “I ees not here to ween but to participate.” Why do you think rakhi sawant ees being so successful een realeety shows? Everytheeng about her ees fake, eencluding her chest.

2. 2. Have sad life storee:

Eef you ees on show where there ees voteeng, then make sure you ees having sad life storee. Peepal ees going to vote for you if ees saying theengs like, “I ees come from very small village from Punjab and I ees married to a female wrestler. My well ees dry and I ees being impotent. And my cat ees dying due to 3^rd degree heart failure. Pleese vote four mee and make mee ween” then peepal ees feel bad four you and you ees going to get more votes than the Congress Party.

3. 3. Give free sim card and Recharge to friends and relatives:

Een realeety show you ees needeeng lots of votes eef you ees want to win. The peepal who ees watching maybe ees not wanting to give you vote, because maybe you ees looking stupid on televizion. So eef you ees want votes give free sim card and recharge to fameely and friends so that they may geeve you votes. Thees way you shall find out your true frends, because a frend een need ees frend eendeed!

4. 4. Wear good clothes eef boy and no clothes eef girl:

Noone ees like a boy who ees looking like a scarecrow, because then they ees not only scareeng the crows but also the peepal who ees watcheeng the show. Eef you ees een habit off wearing yellow shirt and black pants then you ees only get vote from Taxi drivers! Eef you ees a girl then wear leetle clothes to get more votes. Small joke- to reach the top, your top has to be low (low neck!) hehe.

5. 5. Act like beech:

By beech I ees not meaning chowpatty but I ees meaning female dog. Eef you ees on realeety show then eet ees must that you must act like beech. By thees I ees not meaning to act like mad dog and bark loudly and bite the other contestants so that they ees getting rabies. I ees meaning to talking bad about all other cuntestants behind their back. Eef you say theengs like, “I ees hating that whore who ees lookeeng like potato and dresseeng like bar dancer... I hate her!” peepal ees loveeng beechs and ees going to give you all the votes and you ees winning.

Beast of luck.(I hope speeling of luck is coorect. I am confoosed if it is ‘l’ or ‘f’?)

Reegards,

Ajatashatru Chandrashekhar Pandey.

Ajit Pandu.

ACP.

(wheechever you call mee)

Thank you Teacher... For making me a proper, doped out ROCK fan!

thought of writing this to you in the middle of a Metallica concert, which I was privileged to see live in Moscow. Whilst I was happily headbanging standing right in the first row, near the stage and the motherf*cking speakers, the thought crossed my head that if today I am a proper, doped out metal head, its all because of you! Seriously, I kid you not. \m/

I still remember how you used to always make me stand with my face to the wall, because I occasionally put a board pin on your chair and you sat on it, or threw a chalk at your bum while you wrote on the board. Back then, my legs used to ache. But it was only because of those hard torturous days that I can stand for f*cking hours together in concerts and concentrate on the motherf*cking music rather than the stupid pain in my knees.

And most of the time you used make me stand with my hands up. Thank you so much for that maam, because today I can make the devils sign, \m/, and keep on raising my hands and waving and clapping throughout the concert, unlike those f*ckers who wave and clap for one song and then cant lift up their arms again because they’ve torn all their ligaments.

Thank you for forcing me to come 5 minutes before time and making me sit on the first bench. It got me into the habit, of coming early for concerts and standing in the first motherf*cking row, where the views the greatest and music’s is the f*cking loudest! That reminds me, thank you so much for being so freaking loud. I fondly remember being made to sit on the first f*cking bench against my will and dignity and you teaching the class with your voice which was like a freaking fire alarm. Back then I thought I was going to go deaf by the time I turned 15 but now I realise how much you cared for me. You used talk, like a bomb explosion so that I get used to taking that intensity of sound! Today I can stand right next to the speakers, as metallica rolls out, “Enter Sadman” and feel that motherf*cking music penetrate through me! The Speakers is where the music is, LOUD and clear! Ya! \m/

And madam I would like to confess every time I do drugs, I feel like am in your lecture. Because they used to be so bloody boring that I used to completely zone out and feel a lightness in my head. Calm and Clear. Your lectures were like doing coke. A little hazy, a little trippy but very mindf*cking! I feel genuinely nostalgic about school and about you, every f*cking time am stoned!

Thank you once again maam, because without your guiding hand, I would I have been just another Rock fan in the vast ocean of rock fans. But it was your guidance and belief in me that has made me the ultimate and superior quality ROCK fan that I today am. I owe it all to and your gentle tutoring!

Many Thanks,

Your Ever Inspired Student,

Suhas “EvilAss” Ghorpade.

Peace. Live Metal. \m/.

Reproduced with author's permission By- Editor Man

Oh Shit! Toilet Signs and Symbols Explained.

Toilets are one of the most fascinating places in the world. They are one of those places where you have the license to fart, burp, get naked, fondle and do every other wild and wacky thing, including singing, that you cant possibly do anywhere else. That is why, today, we look into our toilets and see the awesome wisdom that they hold! Presenting Toilet Signs and Symbols Explained!

Warning-You may literally wet yourself from laughing....

TOILET SIGNS

Things that you are likely to do, but SHOULD NOT DO!

Let your mouth do the whistling.....not your bums.

Wouldnt you just love going to a public toilet in Japan???

Could they be more explicit???

AND NOW..... THEIR SMELLY COUNTERPARTS!!!!!

diag. 2.a

The Special Baba Ramdev Toilet. In diagram 2.a you see: Toiletasana.

This company needs a Workers Union!!!!! Bring out the Reds!!!

You can do a lot more than just pee in this baby...

He's never gonna get rid of his bad breath!!!

Keeping Your Valuables Safe!

By Editor Man

News and Olds with Rajcheap Sardesai.

Hello, welcome to the News and Olds and you are with me Rajcheap Sardesai. The News and Olds for the day are :

1. 132 couples got married in a mass wedding, to save resources and reduce global warming. Now they will not go on a honeymoon to reduce the population.

2. Airlines are looking for ways to control drunk fliers, after numerous cases of misbehaviour by intoxicated fliers were reported. It is going to be a tough task, because people are bound to get “high” on planes!

3. Apple recently launched the revolutionary iPad! The surprising thing is that apparently even men can use it!

4. Youth pays Rs. 10 lakh for fake gold biscuits. Wasnt he stupid.

5.After nearly 44 years shahrukh realises that his name is khan!

6.The pope has come out with his own music CD called Music from the Vatican. He is hoping to become the next Pope star.

7. The new Buses that the BMC have ordered are yet to be delivered to them. As usual the buses are not on time!

This is the news for today, till next time wait for a new tomorrow!

The Hot Strip™ . . . . . By TANZANIA™ THS™

.. BY TANZANIA™

Fashion Tips for Superheroes

Want to be a superhero? All of us do, darling. But you have to be ready to face the super paparazzi.

Here’s your guide to be a fashionable superhero:

1. Wearing your undies out:

It’s the oldest and the most powerful fashion statement that can be made by any superhero. It’s the only Attire which can even fetch you some endorsements; like Lux Cozi or a Rupa for a local superhero, or a Chromozome or an Armani for an international one. Though superman made this fashion statement, he was never able to cash into it or maybe the advertising industry was unaware of it then. You need to cash into this because you may not get a reporter job like superman.

2. Wearing a Bluetooth headset:

It would be an easier way to be in contact with the not so supernatural world. Rather than removing your cell phone in mid-air, you might not be concentrating on the sky ahead and may bump into a U.F.O. So for your comfort use a Bluetooth headset. After all fashion is all about comfort babes.

3. Changing your costumes:

You should always change your costumes after a specific period. Even your fans need a reason to buy a new action figure. You need to publicize yourself in the modern world.

4. Adding bling to your style:

Bling is the latest in thing, In order to get the public’s attention when you are in mid-air you need to add bling to your style. It is the only thing that will make the ordinary folk peep out of their office windows. Also make sure, that for maximum impact where chunky jewellery, after all bada hai toh behetar hai! go something along the lines of this guy....

5. Pimp your ride:

Your ride should be drooly enough to compel Mattel to come out with miniatures of it. Having a dull black bat mobile ain’t that uber cool. You have to pimp it up, homie! Decorate your ride with Looney Toons stickers. If you cannot afford a high-end audio system, hire a brass band & stuff them in your dicky. Listening to trumpets playing ‘Saat Samundar’ live! Also make sure your number is written in chinese and is painted in the colour of your underwear. Oh and dont forget to hang your nimbu-mirchi near your number plate! like this...

6. Fashion ain’t only for you, it’s for your chick too:

Like any other sports star or porn star, your chick will always be under the eyes of the super paparazzi. They know more about the clothes she wears, the food she eats, the guys she makes out with behind your back than you do. So always, have her geared up to face the paparazzi.

7. Keeping your Headquarters at ease:

Your headquarters has to be comfortable and at ease, because it is the place from where you are going to get your fashion statements and plans for eliminating the villains. You should organize your headquarters according to your comfort level. If you happen to be dressed like a bat, make sure its dark and roomy and make sure there's enough space on the ceiling from which you can hang upside down, without getting killed by the fan. If you happen to be in a spider-suit, you could try planting webs around the place to make it more homely and lived in. and of course if you happen to turn into a man of iron, make sure you're Headquarter is moisture free, because you just might rust in the wrong parts!

8. Boosting your P.R:

It means you have to get your P.R high! Which would mean having drugs, dating hot models, and getting caught for drunk flying! These would be the perfect cover stories for India TV. You could deliberately ask them to put your slot in late hours, which would force them to put it in the prime time and just adding to your PR.

Have fun being the person whom everyone confuses with a bird or a plane! And always remember that by dressing well and being in vogue you are averting a major fashion disaster!

- by Gautam GotiGotwa*

(*Gautam GotiGotwa, regardless of his name is a real person and currently studies in SYBMM in Swami Vivekanand College)

Old Age is a Dangerous Place!

Old age is a dangerous place. Once you are past the fine, ripe old age of 65 even the most harmless things around you become death traps. For example imagine you are 70, and have osteoporosis, your bones are as solid as melting candlesticks, and you have as much balancing capacity as drunk one-legged horse, and you have to climb down a flight of stairs at a speed of less than 1 km per day. The chancesof your losing your footing and tumbling down the stairs is also increased due to the cataract in both your eyes. Which is why people will bet more money on you slipping and rolling down the steps like a drum, than you reaching the bottom of the stairs, walking and alive.

And your chances of unintentionally killing yourself are greatly increased by your memory which is so poor that it makes people living on 2 rupees a day, look rich. With a memory like yours, it is so easy to accidently kill yourself. You put something in the oven and then forget about it because you are too engrossed in catching your favourite Baba on Aastha channel. The oven eventually explodes and as everybody knows, an exploding oven is it not good for ones health and overall life.

And you just might go past your expiry date while having fun. For example, imagine you are a 75 year old man, who suddenly finds a hot, foxy 25 year old wanting to sleep with you(clearly for the money). At an early time, you would have dived into bed, with the speed of Michel Phelps at the Beijing Olympics. But at 75 you have to think twice about your bedtime activities, because you might be on top of her and suddenly your over-excited heart might just get attacked. And then it will be difficult for that poor thing to heave a dead old horse like you off her.

And of course, old age can be full of people wanting to kill you. These assasins will usually be the ones whom you love most and whom you least expect to put the poison of an exotic south American frog in your early morning cup of coffee. Usually these assasins turn out to be your spouse or your sons, who know what's in your will and are just tired of waiting for you to die on your own.

Of course, old age is a dangerous place because you just might die because of old age. its called a natural death and it happens mainly because your organs are tired of working 24X7 for so many frigging years that they simply give up and stop working. And although your brain did that a long time ago and it didn’t affect you, but when your heart also calls it quits or when your liver fails, it kind of gets hard to live and easy to die. Thats why old age is a dangerous place.

-By Editor Man

LOVE IN THE TIME OF MALARIA

Namaskar Pahunyano...
People have started asking me questions and all on lauw... so what can i do??? answer them na.... ok... here are my answers to your questions...

1. Maushi, I think my boyfreind is cheating on me with the Maid... what should I do?
ANS: sweety... you are not sure if he is or isnt cheating on you... well.. if he is cheating on you, he will buy new underwear, be extra sweet to you, he will constantly worry about his hair and clothes and all that... if he is displaying all these signs then it can mean only two things... either he is cheating on you, in which case you can sack the maid and dump your Bf... or if he isnt cheating, then you have a bigger problem on your hands... if he is all that, and not cheating, then is he almost definintely gay... and you will have to dump him anyways...
So in either case, you will end up alone and bitter havinng to live with the fact that either you were not satisfactory for him, or you were soooo bad to him that he turned gay because of you...
I hope that makes you feel better and answers your questions... :-)

2. Maushi, I think I have feelings for women and am a Lesbian... What should I do??
ANS: well darling... you are in a confusing time right now, what with puberty and all the sexual tensions and everything... You will start notincing people in a totally different manner... they will start looking attractive and all... M surprised your mother didnt have this talk with you...
Anyways... it is perfectly natural to having such feelings about people... and dont worry... now with the Delhi High Court ruling and all, your feelings are also legal now...
If you have any uncertainties about this feeling of yours... then come over to my place anytime you want and we can have an.. Ahem... Private talk... I will clear all your fears for you.... *Wink wink*

3. My girlfreind thinks she is totally cool and she always try to show off just how cool she is. What should I do about her?
ANS: ok... first of all... are you dating Aarohi Jani???? And if you not... just do what she does.. if she does something like turn up the TV volume when you are on the phone and say that she is in a Discotheque... then you do the same thing to her... especially when she needs to "talk" about something important... thats when it will bug her the most... if she wears tight clothes so that guys notice, then you go shirtless to college *Wink wink* (but only if you have a good bod... otherwise, you will be the laughing stock!) and if she wears magenta and lime green... then.... then i cant help you mate... your on your own there... sorry...

iske baad, agar koi prashna ho toh, merepe comment maar... waise nahi... mere post pe comment maar... mein tereko bhi help karegi!!

By, Lauwandkar Maushi

Just something to say...

Hey!

The Hot Spark is now one month old! And we thank you guys for being a part of this journey! Thank YOU!

We hope you are enjoying our articles and we hope they make you laugh, smile or at least feel entertained,!

We love the comments that we have been receiving and we are truly overwhelmed with your interest and enthusiasm! The comments and criticism that we have received are extremely insightful and very valuable, and have really made us think and reflect on our articles and we Thank each and everyone who has taken the time out to share their opinion with us! Thank YOU! do keep commenting on all our future articles, just like you are doing now!(a special mention to chu-chu, Thank You!)

However where we love the fact that you hated some article please refrain from using abusive language. thats reserved for victor fang! Because insulting is very different from criticizing and we really dont want to feel insulted.

Once again, we request everyone who has read and liked The Hot Spark, to promptly click on the follow option found on the right hand side of the page, or else your kitty will die! so to save kitty become a follower today!

and oh yeah, if you are on facebook do join us there. http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Hot-SparkTM/255561888869?ref=ts !

P.S :- Loads of new columns and articles waiting for you in the coming days so stayed tuned folks!!!

Thanks once again! and do keep the fire burning, only with The Hot Spark!

Regards,

The Hot Spark Team

Interview with a Vampire.

Ever since I entered the large, poorly-lit castle I have been impressed by its owner. The home speaks a lot about the man and seeing the dingy, hideous place I realised it was true. For the man I am going to interview today, goes by the name of Count Vlad Draccula, and who's chief occupation is being a vampire.

Q1. Hello Mr. Draccula.

Ans. Hi.

Q2. How does it feel being a professional vampire?

Ans. Umm.. its a rather dead job, hehe, get it(*wink wink*). On the upside you get to live in a castle like this and sleep in a coffin and get to stay young for a really long time. And of course you get to seduce pretty woman, and then suck their blood, so basically for a person like me, who has fangs and a thirst for blood its a dream job.

Q3. So basically your job is that of a mosquito?

Ans. Look, don’t get me wrong. Just because I suck blood, doesn’t mean am a mosquito.

Q4. Leech?

Ans. No, am not a leech either.

Q5. Alright, how did it feel acting in twilight?

Ans. (frowning) I didn’t act in twilight!

Q6. Of course, sorry, my bad. So tell us something about your love-life, which has been under considerable scrutiny and subject to a lot of rumors....

Ans. I am currently single.

Q7. Your ex-wife has said that while she was married to you, you used to suck her more than she sucked you. Is it true?

Ans. No comments.(frown increasing)

Q8. She also said you enjoyed making love, when she was menstruating, is it true?

Ans. No more relationship questions.

Q9. Can you fly?

Ans. No.(getting pissed)

Q10. You have a habit of turning into a bat. Is it true?

Ans. Yes. Its not a habit, its an ability

Q11. Yes, exactly. what type of bat do you become? A fruit bat?

Ans. No I do not become a fruit bat...(teeth grating)

Q12. Cricket bat?

Ans. NO! A Vampire Bat, you numskull, I become a vampire bat!

Q13. Do you also call yourself Batman?

Ans. NO I DONT!.(clenching fist)

Q14. You stay awake at night and sleep during the day. is that correct?

Ans. yes.

Q15. Is that because you work in a call centre?

Ans. (Hopping with rage) NO. ITS BECAUSE I CANNOT TOLERATE THE SUN! WHY HAVENT YOU DONE ANY HOMEWORK? WHAT RUBBISH QUESTIONS ARE THESE?

Q16. If you cant tolerate the sun, where do you get your vitamin D from?

Ans. GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!!!

Q17. Are your bones weak with vitamin D deficiency?

Ans. (Knife is hurled in interviewers direction)

The interview ended abruptly, after the interviewee turned hostile.

-by Editor Man

The Hot Strip™. . . . BY TANZANIA THS™

How Barcelona, Coriander and Aayush Bhatt ruined my life

My name is Sujoy Bannerjee. In school I came 4^th, lost out on 3^rd place by 2 marks and 1^st place by 4 marks. I ate only homemade food, put oil in my hair, religious wore my pant near my solar plexus and adjusted my specs every 10 minutes. I was very quiet and got the award for being most discipline boy, punctual boy and boy who never missed or bunked school award. In short I was as straight as a natraj 30 cm ruler. Then I went to Rajumal Vidhyadhar college, for engineering.

Now I drink a peg in the morning and a quarter at night, and maybe a bottle in between. Joint family to me means, all my buddies who smoke up with me, the fire brigade is called to our college every 2 days, because I smoke so much. And had it not been for three things... my life would have been soooo different.. sooo boring.... so f***ed up!

Barcelona was the first culprit. I remember the day. Till that day I was still the pious engineering student who wanted to do well academically. That night Manchester united was playing Barcelona in the Champions league final. The only concession I had let into my pious life was that of being a Manchester united fan. So when united lost, I was overcome with misery. I felt that the world had come crashing down upon my tender shoulders. My friends tried to console, to no avail. Finally they brought me a bottle of rum. I had a sip. Then I had a little more. Then I had the whole fucking bottle! Hell yea!!! Thank you Barcelona for introducing to my friends, Johnny walker, peter scotch and of course the old monk!

Coriander was the next culprit. I didn’t know my roommate was a junkie until I accidently smoked up and got so high that the world seemed really far below! You see my friend kept his stash of weed buds in the fridge for some god forsaking reason. That day, I was making soup. I needed coriander. I was tired and sleepy. And to a tired and sleepy man, buds of weed and coriander look the fucking same. So I grabbed a whole handful of weed and dumped it in the pot. Soon the vapours started coming out. I sniffed. It felt good. I sniffed again, and then I took lungfuls of that intoxicating aroma!!! Brinjal soup never smelt this good!!! Now the only powder I use is coke!

Finally comes aayush bhatt. Bhatt is a senior. And I mean very senior. He has failed a record 7 times in the second year, legend has it that he is around 26 years old and is going to get married very soon. He still takes extreme pride in ragging all people younger than him, and that includes every fucking student, and some teachers and peons too. And for some fucked up reason, he took a special interest, in my initiation into the ways of the world.

Aayush Bhatt: idhar aah chut*ye!!!

Me: yes sir..

Aayush: you smoke?

Me: no sir...

Aayush: why not, you dumb fucking asshole?

Me: sir, I don’t like it... (trembling like a leaf in a freaking storm)

Aayush: come here you little dirty skunk(grabbing my head and rubbing knuckles on my scalps) you will smoke, or I shall beat your face in with my hands and pull out your balls and make yoyo’s out of them. You go that?

Me: sir, yes, sir.

Aayush: (taking out a yoyo, me wondering whose unfortunate ball it was) good. I like you. You learn fast and are polite in your speech. Now run along and have a cigarette. No funny business, because I shall be watching you till you have the whole mother fucking thing!

Yes. That’s how my life was ruined or in other words, life happened to me.

Histo-Spark with Pankaj K. Gotte

ok...
All through history, there have been guys who have always gotten the raw end of the deal... Adolf Hitler, Benito Musolini, Rasputin, Che Guevara, Mao Zedong, Osama, Obama.... all these guys are always looked at from the negative point of view... but seriously... maybe we should look at their side of the story... they might have been nice people... what do we know???

Take Hitler for example... He may have been a total asshole when it came to the blitz and he may have killed a couple million jews... but seriously could you blame him??? The man was bitter cause no women would go for him with his square mustache, oily harido and horrible obsession with guns... what he needed was a good hair stylist, but he couldnt even get one of those since he had killed them all...

Dont you just feel sorry for that guy???

Mussolini was just as bad as Hitler, if not worse... I mean, sure this was the guy who introduced Fascism... but just think about the poor guy... He wore his pants so high up that they covered his man boobs and pulled at his crotch... who wants a fashion faux pas like that... and that too in Milan??? and the poor guy had such low self esteem even after capturing the whole of his country that he gave himself the title of "HIS EXCELLENCY, BENITO MUSSOLINI, HEAD OF GOVERNMENT, DUCE OF FASCISM, AND FOUNDER OF THE EMPIRE."... how sad is that... seriously...

Look at the poor guy... such horrible self esteem that he had to stand up higher than everybody else...

Rasputin was one helluva lucky guy while he was alive...he looked like a mix between a scare crow and santa clause which is not good, and yet he got to sleep with the Queen of Russia AND get worshiped by her husband Czar Nicholas... how lucky is that???... but in the end, the poor guy was turned into the villan and people started calling him the mad monk... in efforts to kill him, they poisoned him but he didnt die... so they shot him in the forehead, and then three times in the back when he still didnt die.. i mean seriously.. what a will to live... finally, they beat him up, cut off his... well.. neutered him and then tied him up and threw him in the river... wow... jealousy can really make people go crazy...

His mutilated dead body... so sad...JEALOUSY!!!

Mao was another misunderstood guy... when people hear Mao's name they think red and they think Chinese communist Revolution... but what about the sensitive side of the guy... no one sees that he was actually a sad old man who just wanted to find someone to love... he had bad luck with women from the start... his father arranged his marriage with a girl but later it never happened... he then marries his old professor's daughter (its a wonder how he passed) but she was arrested and killed for being a revolutionary... he started having affairs with young girls and finally found someone whom he thought was the one.. but she turned out to be cuckoo and had to be admitted into a mental hospital... then he married Madame Mao cause he got her pregnant but it turned out that she was a scheming, plotting and conniving woman who was after his money, power and fame and her manipulations finally followed him to the grave.. its so sad, i could almost cry...

The red chair-man... he was in such a bad state that they were only allowed to get a picture of his chair... it looks a bit like him though, doesnt it???

Osama bin laden is a whole new issue too... sure he is a jackass who didnt even teach his pilots how to fly properly, cause they all ended up crashing... and sure he is only the most wanted man in the world.. other than Sallu Bhai... but come on... just imagine how confused he must have been growing up... what with having 24 mothers... here i have trouble with just one and there he had to deal with 24 of which more than half also qualify as his aunts, and cousins... and even worse... just imagine how weird it must have been for him when at least two of his half brothers were also his uncles and another three sisters turned out to be his neices from his dads side and his grandmothers from his mom's side... dealing with something as screwed up as that has got to have some negative affects on his pysche... dont you sympathise soooo much with him, the poor inbred bastard????

This is a rare picture of Osama with one of his inbred brothers/uncle/grandfather/cousin.... Bert bin Laden

Anyways... that was just me giving you guys a new angle to look at history... so dont memorise your textbooks word to word... think... make your brain cells work cause theyre in a coma...
till my next post...

By, Prof. Pankaj K. Gotte BMM, MA, PhD, MPhil, MBBS

News and Olds with Rajcheap Sardesai.

Hello, welcome to the News and Olds and you are with me Rajcheap Sardesai. The News and Olds for the day are :

1. students are protesting against the hike in college fees. They are asking why they should pay more for facilities, “like classrooms, teachers etc.” which they don’t use anyway.

2. New roads and bridges are on the cards. Playing cards, visiting cards and memory cards, because its never going to materialize anyway.

3. Researchers say dogs that bark very often tend to lose their voice. Studies are yet to find out if this applies to politicians.

4. Andy Murray claims that tight underwear was the reason why he lost the austrailian open final. The other big reason he forgot was Roger Federer. Anyway from now on, Murray should be using only Lux Cozy Underwears, because after all, "Yeh Aaram ka Mamla Hai!"

5. Rs. 1013 cr, is the budget allocated for drainage management. That is a lot of money going down the drain.

6. U.S. issues travel alert to its citizens, regarding travel in terror affected places. India meanwhile is assuring visitors that it is a safe country. They are encouraging visitors to come to India and have a blast!

7. Nitish kumar, chief minister of bihar has declared that all land of corrupt officials will be reclaimed by the government. Laloo Prasad yadav has decided to sell all his land and move to a different state. We don’t know why both these news items have appeared together.

This is the news for today, till next time wait for a new tomorrow!