India Has Agriculture But Still Can't Field.

Somehow the Indian Cricket Team and Good Fielding do not fit in the same sentence. Except probably that one.

The Indian Cricket Team has never ever been known as a good fielding unit. That's because when it comes to fielding they are like pigeons, not the most agile and with a lot of droppings.

The importance of fielding probably came to light when cricket turned toward the one day format. The reduced time implied reduced runs and we all know what that meant, thats right: Unhappy batsmen. No seriously, it meant better fielding. Never before had fielding looked so exciting as in the 1992 world cup when jonty Rhodes scampered across from point and flew through the air and ran out Inzamam Ul Haq. That's not saying much because EVERYBODY ran out Inzamam ul haq. However that one moment in cricketing history will forever be remembered for the agility and presence of mind shown by Jonty and the brilliant imitation of a running sack of potatoes by Haq.

In more recent days, the difference between excellent sides(Australia) and very good ones(India, Pakistan and My Gulli Cricket Team) has come to be fielding. At the end of the day or 5 days or 3 hours, fielding saves runs, puts pressure on the batting side and is the only way bowlers get away with bad deliveries.

Seeing the Indian cricket team in the field gets really embarrassing at times. Our fielders often drop the simplest of catches, fumble with the ball for long stretches of time(48 hours) before throwing it back.  And we aren’t very good at throwing either. We have poor throwing actions, weak arms and the accuracy of a weather report.

That's why Indian cricketers use a very primitive technique to get opposition players run out. Its called Miscommunication. They simply wait until the opposition has this sort of conversation.

Batsman: RUN!

Non-Striker: OK!

(goes half-way down the pitch and for some reason cant make it back in the 48 hours it takes the Indian fielders to run him out)

Non-striker: Why the hell did you say run?

Batsman: I didn’t say run. I said Ranthambore. You must have misheard me.

Arguably one of the best fielders to emerge from India in recent times has been you guessed it: Ramesh Powar.  No seriously, it’s Yuvraj Singh. But even he’s not in shape nowadays, unless your idea of fitness involves looking like a hot air balloon. Fitness has been the bane of many an Indian cricketer past and present. Even the best batsman in the world, Sachin Tendulkar looks chubby even after a good day in the gym. And it’s not just the “No-Paunch-bulging-out” fitness that the team lacks in, its also the general fitness that makes for competent athletes that’s missing. That's why Indian fielders dont race after a boundary-headed ball. They waddle behind it like ducks.

And you will never see a really stunning catch coming from the Indian Cricket Team. You’ll rarely see an Indian fielder fly through the air and snatch a streaking ball straight from the sky. By throwing himself at the ball the Indian fielder risks getting his clothes dirty, getting injured or worse, looking really stupid when he misses the ball completely. The only thing he stands to gain is a wicket and a mention in the “(Insert Brand Name Here) moment of day” on the post match show, which nobody watches.

But what defines Indian fielding is the proverbial fumbling. Every match offers the same spectacle. The ball is skimming over a lush turf at a crisp pace, the Indian fielder readies himself to receive it by dipping his fingers in car lubricant. He bends to scoop the ball up but alas it goes through his fingers like a ghost. He then scampers back to retrieve it. He spends half hour in collecting a ball that’s now rather stationary and then somehow manages to throw it a few kilometres wide of the wicketkeeper. India has the rare ability of converting a single into two and very often three runs, now if only they could do this while batting.