News and Olds with Rajcheap Sardesai.

Hello, welcome to theNews and Olds and you are with me Rajcheap Sardesai. The News and Olds for the day are :

1. Tamil Nadu bans shoes socks and belts in exams to prevent copying. This wont solve the problem of copying because shoes, socks and belts don’t copy anyway.

2. Sketches of suspects possible from CCTV footage. Our police force is yet to move with the times, they still want to get a sketch done when they have video footage!

3. It has been revealed that Sleep deprivation or insomnia can shrink the brain. That explains why Owls look so wide-eyed and stupid.

4. Cops net duo who sold cheap flats to victims. This is injustice, because selling cheap flats is more of a public service than a crime.

5. A US school has been accused of spying on students at home. If all schools decide to do this then that excuse for not doing your homework will become useless!

6. The cabinet clears 18 new railway projects after railway minister started crying. Imagine what all they would have done had she threatened suicide.

7. It has been revealed that the alien Jaadu from the film Koi Mil Gaya, starring Hrithik Roshan and Preity Zinta, is actually an Avatar.

This is the news for today, till next time wait for a new tomorrow!

The HOT Strip™ . . . . by TANZANIA!

A Note to our Readers...

The Site is currently under maintenance and construction but we are going to let you see the surgery and the skeleton because we dont want to deprive you of your daily dose of Spark!!!

Regards,

The Hot Spark Team.

A World Without Weed!(AAAHHH NOOO!)

what would life be wothout weed?????

what would we do..? or what would are "hippe" anchestores do???

come to think of it there would be no peace or love in the world....who would go around sayind"hey man...i know i am a man but i love that man !!!!"or who would say "like man...i love that dog with the rainbow tongue and golden wings it really knows how to kill the heat off ! Damn am so Freaking HIGH, my eyes hurt!" We would have just landed up ending without love, without the word like-like, no rockstars and no Dumb, doped out people to watch ram gopal vermas film.

Just think about it, if there was no weed half the music in the world would not be made! There would be no Floyd, no Hendrix and no Zeppelin and no other freaking musician who has ever made a difference!(probably even himesh is a junkie, secretly sniffing the stuff to maintain the quality of voice of his nose)

Amsterdam would go bankrupt...cause they wouldn’t be any weed to legalize and then lets face it, who goes to Amsterdam to see windmills? All anyone ever goes there for is the WEED baby(Just like Goa but a bit more international)! So if there were no weed then Amsterdam’s tourism would collapse and they would become a third world country!

Oh yeah, and without weed we wouldn’t get classic songs like ‘dum maro dum’ and growing up in a world with out ‘dum maro dum’ is like growing up in a world where there’s no beer, sex and Raju Shrivastav. In short it would be sad.

so the conclusion would be that if there was no weed .....THERE WOULD BE NO, LIKE...U KNOW MAN>>>LIKE THAT PERSONS....WHO LIKES THAT "L" WORD...LIKE THERE WOULD BE A LOT LESS *LOVE* !!!!! IT”S A MAD MAD WORLD BUT THERES NO BETTER WORLD!

- by Gautam GotiGotwa*

(*Gautam GotiGotwa, regardless of his name is a real person and currently studies in SYBMM in Swami Vivekanand College)

The Hot Strip™. . . . By TANZANIA

Dream Jobs

Dream jobs are those things that exist for people who are not you. That's why its called a “dream” job, because if you are happy working then its probably in your dreams.

Among some of the most awesome jobs in the world, is being a cow. Especially those cows who are tied to trees and you feed them by paying the fellow in charge of the cow, one buck for a tuft of grass. Now imagine you are this cow. Your job would literally be to take the salary and then slowly and thoughtfully, eat it.

Another mindblowingly awesome dream job is to be pornstar. I mean you get paid to get laid. Having office sex will probably be part of your work, plus you will get to star in some of the most heavily downloaded and most enjoyable films ever made! (if your lucky you might be part of blockbusters like, “Lusty Lovers 4” and “To Do or not To Do!”) you get paid, laid and famous all for doing the 'blow' job!

But the best job by far for men, is to be the fellow who holds the reflector during the bikini photoshoots! Yup those idiots you see in the FTv Swimsuit calendar photoshoot who hold up shiny reflectors and direct light on the juicest parts of the model's body. They don’t have to think, they don’t have to have talent, heck they don’t even have to know what a camera is. All they got to do is hold a reflector and ogle at hot models as they make seductive poses in skimpy swimsuits! Now thats what I call a dream job! No work, all FUN!

As for the dream job for a woman, to paid by Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, or Robert Patisson or Shahid Kapur or Shahrukh khan or Hrithik roshan or David Beckham, or all of them at once, for just standing and staring at them and occasionally shaking their hand and taking their autograph. Now you know why its called a Dream Job?

By Editor Man

News and Olds with Rajcheap Sardesai.

Hello, welcome to theNews and Olds and you are with me Rajcheap Sardesai. The News and Olds for the day are :

1. It took 12 years to make avatar which is set to be the highest grossing film of all time. Either this is a sign of extreme genius or extreme laziness.

2. The Panel at the filmfare awards were confused. They did not know whether to give amitabh the best actor or best child actor award for the film paa.

3. Ustad amjad ali khan broke his instrument recently. He then issued this statement, “no amount of money can compensate me for my loss due to which I will not be able to perform tonight. Please note 'instrument' here refers to the SAROD.

4. Nude sketch by hitler is up for sale. How much worse can a man get! Not only was a mass murderer now it seems he was also a pervert!

5. The first ever beauty contest for the third gender to be held soon. The organisers find themselves in a fix. They don’t know whether to call it Mr. India or Miss. India.

6. For a healthy heart, even faking happiness does a lot of good. Studies are now trying to find out whether for a healthy relationship, even faking orgasms helps or not.

7. Akshay kumar is still trying to save the last bottle of thumbs up.

This is the news for today, till next time wait for a new tomorrow!

The Hot Strip™. . . . BY TANZANIA THS™

Just something to say...

Hey!

Firstly, WE ARE NOW A SITE! Yes, that means from on we are www.thehotspark.com! so if you have money go and celebrate on our behalf! RIGHT NOW!!!

We hope that you are enjoying our articles and are finding a moment of happiness on The Hot Spark, because that is what we are aim to provide. Do let us know your feelings, views and reviews on our work by posting loads of comments and ratings! we would really like that! Plus you might just win The Hot Spark Critic of the Moment Award!

At the moment The Hot Spark Critic of the Moment Award! goes to Samantha who read our articles and has taken the time out to give us her valuable criticism! A BIG thank you to you!

Once again, we request everyone who has read and liked The Hot Spark, to promptly click on the follow option found on the right hand side of the page, to prevent global warming! so to save the world from global warming become a follower today!

and oh yeah, if you are on facebook do join us there. http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Hot-SparkTM/255561888869?ref=ts !

Thanks once again! and do keep the fire burning, only with The Hot Spark!

Regards,

The Hot Spark Team

5 teeps four weening realeety show.

Good day, hi, hello, myself gym instructor Ajatashatru Chandrashekhar Pandey. They ees also calling me ACP, or sometimes even Ajit Pandu. My name ees meaning, “one without the enemies”, and eet ees much true because with

- Biceps 56 cm
- Nape 54 cm
- Waist 92 cm
- Thigh 80 cm
- Weight 132 kg
- Height 186 cm
- Chest 148 cm
- Forearm 45 cm

eet ees little bit difficult to feel about me in wrong way.

I ees not study very high, because I was busy practicing for Mr. Jabalpur contest during 10^th exams. So please pardon the poverty English.

Today I ees give you 5 teeps four weening realeety show

So now I give you teeps:

1. Bee Fake:

I ees not understanding who ees giving the name Realeety show, when all the show ees about ees being fake. Eef you ees want to ween realeety show then you must bee really fake. Buy fake I ees meening you must bee that person whom you ees not. for example eef you are not rakesh then you must beecome rakesh. You must allso tell the lies, like, “I ees not here to ween but to participate.” Why do you think rakhi sawant ees being so successful een realeety shows? Everytheeng about her ees fake, eencluding her chest.

2. 2. Have sad life storee:

Eef you ees on show where there ees voteeng, then make sure you ees having sad life storee. Peepal ees going to vote for you if ees saying theengs like, “I ees come from very small village from Punjab and I ees married to a female wrestler. My well ees dry and I ees being impotent. And my cat ees dying due to 3^rd degree heart failure. Pleese vote four mee and make mee ween” then peepal ees feel bad four you and you ees going to get more votes than the Congress Party.

3. 3. Give free sim card and Recharge to friends and relatives:

Een realeety show you ees needeeng lots of votes eef you ees want to win. The peepal who ees watching maybe ees not wanting to give you vote, because maybe you ees looking stupid on televizion. So eef you ees want votes give free sim card and recharge to fameely and friends so that they may geeve you votes. Thees way you shall find out your true frends, because a frend een need ees frend eendeed!

4. 4. Wear good clothes eef boy and no clothes eef girl:

Noone ees like a boy who ees looking like a scarecrow, because then they ees not only scareeng the crows but also the peepal who ees watcheeng the show. Eef you ees een habit off wearing yellow shirt and black pants then you ees only get vote from Taxi drivers! Eef you ees a girl then wear leetle clothes to get more votes. Small joke- to reach the top, your top has to be low (low neck!) hehe.

5. 5. Act like beech:

By beech I ees not meaning chowpatty but I ees meaning female dog. Eef you ees on realeety show then eet ees must that you must act like beech. By thees I ees not meaning to act like mad dog and bark loudly and bite the other contestants so that they ees getting rabies. I ees meaning to talking bad about all other cuntestants behind their back. Eef you say theengs like, “I ees hating that whore who ees lookeeng like potato and dresseeng like bar dancer... I hate her!” peepal ees loveeng beechs and ees going to give you all the votes and you ees winning.

Beast of luck.(I hope speeling of luck is coorect. I am confoosed if it is ‘l’ or ‘f’?)

Reegards,

Ajatashatru Chandrashekhar Pandey.

Ajit Pandu.

ACP.

(wheechever you call mee)