The Hot Strip ........ By Tanzania THS™

Hotverbs- Proverbs with a dash of Spark!

1.Where there is a will there is a Lawyer.

2. A man is judged by the company that hires him

3. Empty Vessels make no food.

4. Charity begins at an NGO.

5. An idle brain is plain dumb.

6. A friend in need is a debtor.

7. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man socially and sexually deprived.

By Editor Man

Histo-Spark with Pankaj K. Gotte

Hello everyone. I am back. I hope that you have re-thought the crap that you were taught in school, cause I am here with another confused soul.

Ok... take the Taj Mahal....Did you ever wonder what sort of man would build a huge white grave for his wife? Seriously, think about it guys. Which man is ever going to part with that much money to give his wife anything... especially once she's dead... I mean... he's gonna think "good riddance" rather than... "oh... lets build her a huge white grave that will take like a zillion years to build and spend like a zillion bucks on it so that in five hundered years, people can come to look at her decomposed body and think ohhhh how romantic!!!"...

Nope... a man will never do anything that AWESOME for his wife for anything... except one thing...

GUILT!!!!

if a man is guilty, he will do anything to atone his sins... and that is exactly what Shah Jahan did...

Lets start right at the beginning. You see in those days it was rather tough being a woman. It wasnt enough for them that they were covered up at all times AND were living behind screens so that they could never see anything properly... they could not even be in contact with other men... and that is exactly what happened to Mrs. Mumtaj Mughal...

In those days, the women had to be guarded ONLY by eunuchs(that is people of neutral gender, who were actually men with their manhood cut off)... and no man could look at women... only neutered men could.... cause they thought that a neutered man was no longer a man... (oh and btw... even a ball-less man had a higher status than women... )

So anyways... now this woman Mrs. Mughal... she became really attached to one of these Third Gender bodyguards and she started hanging out with him/her more than she did with the king... and the king.. of course.. he managed to get it into his head that his wife was having an affair with this poor old neutral gender (imagine that!!! and he starts to believe that the eunuch is really a man, with tiny doodleberries that shouldn't really count) ...so this is like a MAJOR blow to his over-inflated ego... he then knows why Mrs. Mughal spends sooo much time with him... he at least has some tiny "things" that the king cant offer her (Shahjahan had a erectile dysfunction).... so he thinks to himself... "how do i get revenge???".... and so the stupid emperor decides that since he has three other wives, he might as well get rid of one... so one night, he poisons the food that his wife was eating... (so dramatically bollywood isn’t it??)

So the wife chokes and croaks... and he feels a little better, but the penis of the problem was not rooted out yet... he sent his guards to capture the fucker and root out his penis (literally) and then kill him... but as it turned out... the poor guy HAD lost his doodleberries a long time ago...

The king feels soooo guilty that he decides to leave his kingdom to rot and only wants to atone his sins. Somewhere along the way he gets it into his head that building a gigantic, expensive tomb, at agra would help him overcome his grief(A bottle of Rum would have helped more, but to each his own). And so he builds a grave for her that no one can surpass and that is white in colour like the character of his wife....

Now a story of love, sex and dhoka (not the movie!!) is not a very romantic one... so next time you think Taj Mahal and you think "oh how romantic", think again... you are really just thinking of a grave with a decomposed body of a murdered woman...

By, Pankaj K. Gotte

The Hot Strip ........ By Tanzania THS™

5 Things to say to Osama Bin Laden

Presenting "The 5 Things to say" series... where The Hot Spark tells you 5 Things that we would like to say to people!

so the 5 things to say to Osama Bin Laden are:-

1.Hey Osama, i heard your wife's a 'Bomb'.

2.We always knew you had 'explosive' talent.

3.You take being BOMBastic to totally new levels.

4.You havent evolved have you? i mean you're hairy and live in a cave.

5.We all know whats your occupation. youre the guy who does the Blow Job!

By Editor Man

News and Olds with Rajcheap Sardesai.

Hello, welcome to theNews and Olds and you are with me Rajcheap Sardesai. The News and Olds for the day are :

1. The Best excuse for performing badly in your exams has arrived. Yes, IPL 3 started this week.

2. Allegedly Sourav Ganguly likes birds. That is why he got himself another duck

3.

2 extortionists arrested from byculla zoo. They mistook the chimpanzee for one their victims.

4.

Studies have shown that men look at a woman’s breasts before they look at her face. Because they would rather see the beauty than the beast!

5.

Cops send out do’s and don’t’s to schools. Among the do’s – do your homework. Do your assignments and do as your teacher says. Among the dont’s were- don’t confuse your bell with a fire alarm. Dont think that your teacher is a terrorist because she bombs you with Homework. And don’t open unattended tiffin boxes!

6.

Himesh Reshamiya will not be able to sing for a few weeks because he has broken his nose.

7.

IIT’s and IIM’s are now going to teach students in ethopia via the internet. Here are some of the major challenges that they face:

a. Students have to battle disease

b. Lack of food.

c. Lack of computer

d. Lack of internet.

This is the news for today, till next time wait for a new tomorrow!

The Hot Strip ........ By Tanzania THS™

LOVE IN THE TIME OF MALARIA

Namaskaar!!!

Mi parat ale... tumchya prashnanche uttara dyayla....

Ok... first of all... thank you so much for asking so many questions to me about lauw... i feel very flat... err... i mean flattered...

now the three questions that i am featuring this week are my favorites out of the load of questions that i got in the past few days...

1) Lauwandkar Maushi, i have a problem!! my boyfriend always wants me to exchange panties with him!! he says that by doing so, our love will grow. WHat should I do???

ANS: Dear... are you dating Editor Man by any chance???? because I know for a fact that he wears womens underwear frequently... but if not... its ok... well... about your little problem, I think that if your boyfriend likes it, then you might as well exchange panties with him... but make sure you give him your loose old panties so that he has enough space for his luggage... and also make sure that you educate him about the 'Lauw' disease as well... after all... lauw choone se nahi phainlti... *wink, Wink*

2) Maushi... my boyfriend lives in Cochin and I live in Kabul... We have are having a hard time since we are so far apart... and he never comes to meet me... what should we do???

ANS: YOU LIVE IN KABUL!!!! wow... I cant blame him for not wanting to come to meet you.... he is really brave for going out with you in the first place... but just watch out and remember only to make love not war.... anyways... about your problem... if your phones are not tapped, then you can have phone sex... though i think it is even more enjoyable when there is someone listening in on it *wink, Wink* ...

of course... it might be last thing you do since youll get shot after that....

but if you are worried about high phone bills... or crazy bearded men with guns... then you can always have chat sex... that is the good thing about technology.... you can always switch on your webcam and do a virtual striptease... but then again... d ont know if that is enough to excite your boyfreind.... but maybe if he is extra horny or something, he might just be able to jack off on your face... ahem... i mean with the sight of your face....

3) Hey L.M.... i need some help... there is this weird love quadrangle thing going on in my life. I like this girl... but she likes some guy who likes a girl who likes me... wait, i will be more specific... A likes B who likes C who likes A.... No... wait... I'll say it in a better way... There is this girl that I like... and I thought that she likes me too, but it turns out that she likes this one guy, who is going out with this other girl who was like a sister to me, but it turns out that she likes me and he likes her and she likes him and I like her............ wait... i forgot the question.... sorry....

ok... to you confused person... i will answer your question on lauw if you ask it properly... if not... then forget tit.... i mean "Forget it"....

Chala... mi challe ata... if you have any questions then just slap me with a comment....

Till my next post,

Love thy neighbour and his wife...

By, Lauwandkar Maushi

The Hot Strip ........ By Tanzania THS™

The Problem with Great Ideas

The Problem with Great Ideas.

The problem with great ideas is, that they come at a time when its impossible to write them down.
I, for instance, get my greatest ideas while having bath and I can never seem to find a peice of paper or a pen in the bathroom. so i just keep mumbling the idea to myself while i scrub, soap and shampoo myself, in the vain hope that i might retain some information till the bath be done. and then just when am minutes from bursting out from the loo and scribbling furiously on a peice of paper the most disasterous thing happens. while am towelling my hair, the idea slips past the doors of my mind and is lost forever. this always happens.


the other place i get great ideas is while am on the pot, cleaning the intestines off last nights dinner. this i must say, is a considerably more tricky situation because, try as you might, you just cant go leaping and bounding out of the bathroom screaming, "EUREKA, EUREKA!" if you have shit wedged in your ass. its is an awful situation, where you are under both, physical and mental pressure. and by the time i have washed up, i have also washed my hands off that marvelous idea.

And there are worse times to get great ideas as well. for instance while having sex. that is even more tricky than any other situation. there you are, grunting, panting and thrusting away, having, more or less the time of your life, when suddenly, your mind plays a cruel joke on you and gives the most peach of all ideas. now you're in dilemma. now you're in Catch-22. on one hand you dont want to let go off that one in a million idea and on the other hand you need to finish what you started. your in throes of passion, and here comes the great idea. you decide that you have to do first things first and then once you have satisfied yourself, you will peacefully write down the precious thought. besides if you suddenly pull out, you will have a lot of explaining to do, and she wont appreciate one bit that having sex with her makes you think of the laws of gravity.

so you begin hurrying the process up. you finish up but then your mind goes blank. the idea has gone. your dearly, precious, beautiful, ethereal, wonderful and breath-taking idea is lost. your baby is gone. all you are left with is an unsatisfied woman and your own misery.

that is the problem with great ideas.

By Editor Man